SO MUCH MORE THAN SADNESS
- Mar 21
- 1 min read
By Rosie Bogumil
depression hides.
in your unwashed sheets / unwashed hair / unbrushed teeth
exhaustion so deep your bones ache with effort
but still you can’t sleep – because falling
asleep means you must submit to waking up
and waking up means another day
spent with your same cruel thoughts.
they will suggest the usual things to combat
your sudden and inexplicable exacerbation of depression.
you will remind them this cannot be a relapse since that implies reprieve.
yes, they realise you have the chronic kind of depression.
the truly treatment-resistant, has-tried-medications-from-every-single-drug-class,
associated-with-complex-multi-morbid-mental-illness
(hidden) kind of depression – still, they reassure you:
this is just another rough patch.
as if a decade of rough patches and rock bottoms wasn’t enough for you.
and with the little energy you have left
you will leave a murmur rippling
through the pool of their poor excuses
and the tides will gather towards you, toward
the huge lunar-cy that is your depression
and you will say – sadness is not a feeling I know.