E PLURIBUS UNUM
- 5 days ago
- 1 min read
By Jared Frank
I couldn’t help myself.
I would click on video after video of him speaking
even though it created new forehead creases,
and I’d rant for days after.
Hours were spent pointlessly debating
with his persona inside my head until it hurt to think.
Like so many of us I was ecstatic when they announced
his mysterious disappearance.
Puzzled of course; the hidden occult library in the west wing
and the pentagrams of blood in the oval office were strange
(even the pundits on Fox were speechless, a rare occurrence).
But it was a relief to have his visage removed from everyday life.
Then the night I heard his voice
between my eye sockets
my face took on an orange sheen,
and the screams of neighbors started up —
I realized he never left at all.
He actually got a hell of a lot closer to everyone
in a yuge way.