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I am afraid to be awake at three a.m.

Two a.m. is when the party dies

Four a.m. is when you can hear a sunrise

But three a.m. is when you jolt awake

Drenched in sweat, gasping for breath

You grab your chest, but your heartbeat is not fast

Three a.m. is when you begin to see shadows

Creep in corners and across the walls

Specks like eyes outside your windows

Unsettled by the emptiness

Every noise slithers up your back bones

At three a.m. you begin to second guess

Every word you have ever said, ever heard

Hundreds of thoughts all screaming

Thrusting in the back of your head

And every demon drenched in despair

You have been hiding and fighting

Floods you with every awful feeling

You attempt to suppress but

The agony is crippling

All your oxygen caves in

You keel over and try to retch

Everything weaved inside of you

But only silence slips out of

Your gaping mouth

As the salinity spills past your lips

Three a.m. is when your dark

Immerses you into a dense fog

And you beg, plead and pray

To be blank, to feel peace

Yet there is no instant relief

All you can do is wait

For the seconds to seep

When it is three a.m.

Anxious, alone

You ache to reach

For someone to grab your hand

And pull you into morning

Except you refuse

Convinced you will only be a burden

You choose to envelop in your suffering


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