I am afraid to be awake at three a.m.
Two a.m. is when the party dies
Four a.m. is when you can hear a sunrise
But three a.m. is when you jolt awake
Drenched in sweat, gasping for breath
You grab your chest, but your heartbeat is not fast
Three a.m. is when you begin to see shadows
Creep in corners and across the walls
Specks like eyes outside your windows
Unsettled by the emptiness
Every noise slithers up your back bones
At three a.m. you begin to second guess
Every word you have ever said, ever heard
Hundreds of thoughts all screaming
Thrusting in the back of your head
And every demon drenched in despair
You have been hiding and fighting
Floods you with every awful feeling
You attempt to suppress but
The agony is crippling
All your oxygen caves in
You keel over and try to retch
Everything weaved inside of you
But only silence slips out of
Your gaping mouth
As the salinity spills past your lips
Three a.m. is when your dark
Immerses you into a dense fog
And you beg, plead and pray
To be blank, to feel peace
Yet there is no instant relief
All you can do is wait
For the seconds to seep
When it is three a.m.
Anxious, alone
You ache to reach
For someone to grab your hand
And pull you into morning
Except you refuse
Convinced you will only be a burden
You choose to envelop in your suffering