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FINAL MOMENTS, AND GUILT REVISITED

By Anaiah Hervey



I set the stage of my final dream;

mushrooms peak above ground, shy

as if pardoning permission

leaves scrawl the sky like

wretched fingers and harass

 the cloud’s soft bellies.

 

I am no saint, not after this year—

hardly ever have I entered into the chapel

standing on good, moral ground.

I know, I shouldn’t bank on blind acceptance,

but I am human.

 

I want to catch the nectar drip

from a flower’s organ unfurled, bare.

I want to see, to take that which

does not belong to me:

the succulent meat from a bone,

 

soft fruit from its rooted mother,

and warm red juice dripping down,

staining exposed cuts and scars.

Nothing I do can assuage

the guilt within, the muted screams

 

that sound in the dirt before every footstep.

Filthy. Filthy. Filthy—

my corpse befallen would cure nothing.

Though, I lay here, believing myself

right and worthy of a do-over,

as I’m barely alive as an insect

 

correctly mistaken poison for honey

breathing and stretching, up and

down out of consciousness, buzzing quieter

than a fluorescent bulb in its final light.


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